reprieve

my last day of work was yesterday. i spent all day rushing to finish projects of various kinds, thinking about all the things i'd learned these past six months. then i cleaned off my desk and logged out of everything and locked the door and drove away.

what have i learned, then?

. i've learned how to work on a mac. good skill to have. gorgeous machine.
. that people are a bit tricky to work with when they're not in the office.
. how to make phone calls without getting all worried about them.
. that little things make a lot of difference.
. tedious jobs still have to be done. be glad you're getting paid well to do them.
. reputation and customer experience make a difference.
. you don't have to know everything to make pretty decent decisions.
. it's better to make your work meaningful to your own silly self than worry about getting much appreciation from those people who are never in the office.

and probably a lot of other things that aren't so obvious or explainable. my first full-time job. the last day of it felt weird.

speaking of abandonment: fiddler on the roof. the last time i watched that movie i kept thinking about the worth of abandonment in confrontations like the ones Tevye gets into with his daughters, family, and ultimately the government. he gives up traditions and ways of thinking for his daughters. he gives up his third daughter for his traditions, his faith. he gives up his home and his neighbors because he is forced to do so. all the reasons for these sacrifices intrigue me. love. faith. despair.

me, i'm just moving on. to take the future, you have to give up the past.

the finer details remain interesting things though. i shall ponder more about them later, i think.