circadian

sleeping is boring.

I've always thought so. which is not to say that I don't enjoy sleeping, once I get there. curling up with blankets and pillows is lovely. dreaming is often unfathomably interesting.

but there are usually hundreds of things I would rather be doing, if I could get away without sleeping. I could read so many books. write so many stories. learn a new language.  I could talk on the phone or doodle on postcards or go for midnight walks and study the stars.

if this five-foot-tall flesh-and-blood shell of mine didn't need to sleep, would I really use all that nighttime any more effectively than I use the daytime? of course I would hope so. maybe it's for the best that I usually don't get a chance to find out. thankfully, I don't often deal with any serious insomnia. lately I have been waking up at random much-too-early times, which could be a symptom or a cause--and I have no way of being sure which--of the slightly crazy moods I've been swinging between for the past week. maybe the two reinforce each other. I guess I can at least hope they both stop eventually.

out of everything else on the long list of things my flesh-and-blood shell needs to be happy, sleep is one of the least complicated to get. it costs nothing, takes practically no effort, and requires no help from anyone else. normally, given a bed and a book and a few minutes to hum myself into a drowsy relaxation, I have no trouble falling straight into a soft, steady unconsciousness.

waking up can be harder, especially if I've made no definite plans for the morning. since I don't work until the afternoon, it's so easy to let the world drift on while I stay in pajamas reading and journaling and staring out the window. this morning I pulled back my curtains to a brilliantly sunny backyard. the trees by the fence are just starting to produce delicate little clumps of popcorn. the whiteness of them against the perfect spring sky was simply captivating. in fact if I had not been so captivated, I might have bothered to take my own pictures.

maybe tomorrow.

{ this photo borrowed from one of the many kind souls on flickr. }

it's supposed to be an even more brilliantly sunny day tomorrow.