stop trying to be clever

I know I'm not just meant to sit around looking up at the sky. there are a billion other things.

right now hardly ever feels like enough.

so I get restless.

and then I get a phone call. and someone has some crazy idea.

'come live in Salt Lake.'

'let's go to Hawaii!'

'road trip to Canada!'

'road trip to Los Angeles!'

'you could always go to grad school or something.'

or:

'you want to move to Idaho.'

and the restlessness in me decides. why the heck not?

some of these crazy ideas actually happen. I live here. I went to Hawaii. we had a fabulous weekend in Los Angeles.

some of them do not actually happen. other things happen instead. I have not been back to Canada. I have not aced the GRE. I have not moved to Idaho. (yet.)

but I am restless. waiting for something. somehow daring to anticipate...

who is going to call me next? whose crazy idea will it be that I might swallow completely whole?

a better question might be... why do I need other people for crazy ideas at all?