bring it

last post i mentioned something about interest being one of those weird human things, less of a quality and more of a relationship. because where you have one thing and another thing, there's always some kind of relationship, even if it's distant.

where do those relationships come from?

do the molecules just bump into each other and randomly stick? is it some weird potential keneticism that we can't control, an invisible chemistry? a coincidence that me and you or he and she got from strangers to dearest friends?

hm. but it doesn't just happen. i mean, it can... but real meaning is only a result of effort. meaning must be made. we humans pull it out of our ears if we have to. but it's more fun to pull it out of the stars. out of each other. out of the earth. out of the library. wherever.

and naturally things just don't pull themselves out of the stars. there's got to be someone doing the pulling. the reaching up. reaching out. reaching.

who is it? who are you? what do you want?

more importantly, what do you have?

there are too many holes in you to spend time worrying about. instead, worry about what you do have. and bring whatever that is with you when you leave the house. bring it with you when you reach up. bring it with you when you're pulling things out of your ear. without it, what are you?

nothing. an empty hole in the universe. right?

maybe not. there is a reason words like inherent and intrinsic exist.

but if we take a deconstructionist view today, you and your opinions and your knowledge can all be sliced up and torn apart. you and everything that describes you or defines you can be carefully separated until all your qualities have become autonomous, independent, and instead of thoroughly possessing those qualities you will be only related to them, however closely.

okay, we needn't take that view. but it is interesting.

even stripped of all your you-ness you'd still probably exist. as much as a hole exists, anyway. the whole world is defined by boundaries: skin, dirt, atmosphere, infinity.

and so, you. whatever that means it's an important ingredient. without you, what is there? just all the other stuff. unrelated stuff. uninteresting stuff. (relatively, of course)

okay, what is the point i'm trying to make here?

well, it's something i'm only beginning to understand. it's a cogito, ergo sum sort of idea, a tree falling in a forest sort of idea... only of course the forest is there and of course the tree makes noise... but your being there--that matters. not to the existence of the forest, but to the interest of it.

and this goes back to the hi-resolution experience idea. if you're only distantly related to that tree in the forest, say you only read about it once in your high school geography book, then it isn't that interesting to you.

so interest isn't just up to the bank. you have to bring your money in first.
it isn't just up to the stars. you have to go out and look up and bring your heart with you first.