syrupy cynicism

xkcd (you've heard of it, right?) has a tagline. Randall Munroe, the ex-NASA employee who writes the thing, announces it as A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language. and apart from the math in there, what's not to love?

xkcd also comes with a warning. at the bottom, just so everyone knows what they're getting into when they show up to read it, it says: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). not counting all the programming geekiness and occasional vulgarity, xkcd is all smart and insightful and amusing, wrapped up in an adorable minimalism. (okay, the programming geekiness might be insightful and amusing too, but I wouldn't know half the time, would I?) it's art. it's social commentary. it's philosophy.

I've been thinking about this one recently. comic number 807, or, as it happens to be titled, Connected:


the title text is the thought-provoking part. Mr. Munroe continues: "Or love in general, for that matter. It just leads to the idea that either your love is pure, perfect, and eternal, and you are storybook-compatible in every way with no problems, or you're LYING when you say 'I love you'."

hmmm. is that the idea we're trying to sell ourselves? that there is no middle ground? that it has to be a piece of cake or nothing at all? I wonder why. maybe it's like Frank Chimero said. "It is okay to romanticize things a little bit every now and then: it gives you hope." you teach yourself idealism because you need hope so badly. you sometimes forget the 'little bit' and the 'every now and then' and you invest your whole future in unrealistic storybook bliss.

more comics from the Romance section of xkcd, with accompanying random thoughts:

aw, can't you just taste the bitter loneliness they're both shivering with there? it's so cute, right? I think it makes a funny contrast to this one:

such funny, fickle beings we can be. we harbor so much longing for the imaginary and unreal, always looking over that fence, analyzing the greenness of that non-existent grass.

even putting all romanticizing aside, you have to admit that finding and loving a person who loves you back is pretty amazing and miraculous. how does that happen? will we ever understand it? or are you doing well enough if you can simply be grateful for it, and create something equally miraculous with the love you've found, once you've found it?

this one could be sad. but... your heart will always give you a choice, won't it? as much as our internal organs manage to control our behavior most of the time, I don't believe you always have to listen to them. you can choose to trust your heart or you can choose to change your mind. you are the only one who can.

these what if questions are the kind you have to fight with sometimes. who knows where they come from and what they have to gain by planting doubts in your life? I think the trick is realizing that you get to decide. the universe trusts you to do the right thing. and even if you don't, it will all work out eventually. there is no template, no magic checklist, no fool-proof map to go by, and if you keep trying to make your experiences match up with what you see in movies or in books, you'll always be a little disappointed and confused. you have to trust yourself just as much or more than the universe does. go on. put down all those other people's stories and write your own.