I am rediscovering so many things, lately. there are blogs in my blogfeed I don't remember subscribing to, names on facebook I can find no memories of, and plots in stories (stories I myself have written, mind you!) that I can no longer quite follow.
those eighteen months were like a roller coaster with a guillotine at the end. almost all my attachments to everything and everyone have been severed by this shining, drastic change in setting.
how long will it take me to resume my normal self? maybe I never will.
so now I find myself picking through all these loose ends, sending tentative messages to people I once knew in such various different contexts, re-establishing relationships that may or may not have ever really existed. so much seems like it was only a dream. after so long being confined to only handwritten letters, all this rush of communication feels so sloppy, somehow. too disconnected, and yet really it's more cohesive and retrievable and continuous, in a larger picture, than a set of letters from one far off place and another set to said far off place. it's just all bite size, instead of in pages.
it all tastes different.
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