solute/solvent

starcustard tastes impeccably glorious today.

still summer, but every day is a new one. being mixed up.

or perhaps the day comes to blend me.

here i am, floating around in the humid missouri june. 15 16 17 ... in a farmhouse, on the highway, windows down, in the office killing plants. meeting people. being met. in my little blue car. in the atmosphere of blaring music and uncomfortable chairs. the smell of strawberry shampoo

it all just happens. has just happened. just.

justice? yes. ultimately just. even if we don't know why. that is what causality means. that's what life means.

the world is so very self-referential. but because it's made of different bits, it can get away with this. a ruler cannot measure itself, but it can measure another ruler. and sometimes you can use words to define themselves... there are reasons we have words like 'inherent' and 'self-explanatory' and 'obvious.'

although just because i know what i mean doesn't mean anything about anybody else.

in my head are floating around a lot of very different ideas. thoughts. colors. wishes.

england next summer. student loans. hanging over my head. haircut? the possibility of rain... mud... bugs. 'Hijack a chronospeeder!' prices. money. profit. costs. markup. why? food. cheese, even.

so i am both solute and solvent. one small ingredient in a giant world of endless newness, and also a thing in which many worlds are dissolved. precipitated. concocted. woven. dreamed. realized.


random note: pain, aesthetics of