it's not over

never will be over.

this is a comforting thought. lately i've been pondering the fleeting nature of things. how temporary my life is right now. the almost melting winter snow, the latest in a series of crummy little apartments, the friends who just don't seem to care, the acquaintances who will disappear the moment i turn my back, the routines that will fade, the background music that will go out of style, the clothes i'll grow out of. everything is so temporal. so fragile.

but life goes on. and on. and on. and even when i graduate, i'll still be learning. my environment (if i'm lucky and pick the right one) will still be challenging and stimulating and very very worthwhile.

last evening the USU chapter of the Society for Technical Communication held its annual Alumni Panel. before the panel we took the panelists out for dinner. It was a great opportunity to get to know more about them, talk about things we're working on in class, projects and ambitions, questions and concerns. it was a brilliant and inspiring evening.

i am inches away from professional life.

it's a precarious place to be, but also full of hope. and hope for me is a potent concoction of fear, anger, and doubt. i don't know, i can't see, but i'm so so willing to find out. i've got the fear and doubt on my side.

right?

our panel talked a lot about confidence and job security. some things you can never be officially ready for, but you have to sell your confidence to learn all those things. some day you might lose your lovely job. it happens. you have to be able to sell your confidence to another slavemaster.

it is all slavery. on our panel we had a marketing director, a freelancer, a lecturer/researcher, a proposal coordinator, and a manager from IBM, and nobody disagreed about the slavery part. there are sacrifices. there are trade-offs. it's your professional soul at stake here. it's your life. you choose.

most insightful comments:

• talk to people
• you cannot hide greatness
• find something you are truly passionate about
• don't turn down any opportunities for new experiences (unless you have a good reason)
• don't forget about work/life balance
• it's not all about the money

sidenote: IBM sounds like a wonderfully attractive working environment. i think i will find out more about it.