Friday, September 30

children terrify me

I read the following interesting thing yesterday, in Kathy Sierra's Creating Passionate Users blog. She was talking about how to think young.
2) Have kids
If you don't have kids, rent some. Virtually any of your friends with children will be ecstatic to lend you theirs. I'm deathly afraid that once Skyler has completely moved out of the house, my appreciation for indie music will plummet, and I'll revert back to the 80's. (And not the good, interesting, fashionably retro 80's.)

Children terrify me.
But maybe terrified is a good way to be. The title of this blog is fear, anger, and doubt. Those are three emotions that drive me (on various levels--my fears are not usually truely terrifying). So if children terrify me, maybe I ought to hang out with a few. Maybe I'd get over the terror. Maybe I wouldn't. I'd probably be forced to learn something.


Anyway it's an interesting idea, children being one key to keeping your brain young and active. Most of the time people think of motherhood as stifling. But what if it's really one of the most intense learning experiences you'll ever have?

Perhaps someday I'll find that prospect exciting. But first I have to find a boy who isn't worthless scum.

Thursday, September 29

interesting distractions

as I sit typing submission records I come across a lot of titles that sound really interesting.

The 360-degree Word
The Invention of Velcro

and so on. the poetry titles are usually most interesting, and gosh do we get a ton of poetry. from what I see (which is only breif glimpses, but still) it ranges from fairly decent to horrible, with occasional spots of brilliant on top.

I read a poem today (I'm not actually supposed to spend my time reading them, just recording them, but sometimes I can't help it.) by Joel Lamore called Physics. I loved it.

so I googled him. And look what I found:

A Love Story

I haven't had time to look at it really, but from the first sentences it sounds cool.

anyway, that's a little random tidbit of nothing sprung from the tedious work I have been doing this morning.

Tuesday, September 27

moving on to more tragic news

part of me is almost ashamed to call the frustration of my internship 'tragic' when there was a car wreck yesterday that killed seven of my fellow students here at Utah State. when we found out about it last night we were worried for a while until we found out more of the details. Nobody I personally knew was involved, but it is still very sad news.

interning today I completely failed to solve the design problem Leslie put in front of me, and then the entire month's worth of submission records were lost. we don't know whose fault that was, but the only copy I had of the file is now unaccessible.
this means I shall have to type them all again.

one of my colleagues at my lovely part-time catering job has quit. this is just following his assurance to me that it's okay i didn't get that webmaster position i wanted, they need me here in the kitchen. i wonder if he was planning to quit all along and that's why he was glad i didn't have any excuse to beat him to it.
it's going to be hard without him. and i admit i'm somewhat angry that he's escaped.
ah well.

I'm applying for more jobs. I'm working a lot. I'm staying on top of all my coursework.

Coming soon:

an essay on the rhetoric of movie trailers
a completely fictional newsletter of Amelia's life
and other such learning-related nonsense.

stay tuned.

Wednesday, September 21

so unlucky i might just give up

I was expecting a happy phone call today.

Instead, I get this email:

I am sorry to let you know that the projects the professors are involved in require someone with a working knowledge of sql databases, flash, Javascript, and CSS in addition to webdesigning. Thank you so much for your application and willingness to help us out! Your websites are great, and I know you’ll be a great success!


I know it's silly to be all emotional, but this same rejection has happened to me four times in the last month. Is this what the rest of my professional life will consist of? Slavery sprinkled with useless bits of hope?

so excited i need someone to kiss

After class today I went over to the Psych. department to check back on that job I applied for yesterday. I brought in a print copy of my resume and the requested class schedule and I had an extremely nice chat with Ms. Katie Hatch. She said she was very impressed with the work I had done, and she felt like I would be great for the job. She's going to call tomorrow and let me know what happens after she talks to her superiors.
As I walked home from that interview I was excited enough to just kiss someone. Weird, eh?

Tuesday, September 20

slavery and eternal wishfullness

My cousin and I had a great conversation about words over a green-papered table up at school last saturday night. It was Poetry and a Beverage, the monthly shindig the university puts on for aspiring artists to share their poetical or musical artistry. My friend/neighbor Bruce was playing in it, along with a few other people I know. I mostly went to stare at him.

My cousin is studying latin, and he's into languages now that he knows russian. So we talked about our favourite words and he told me their etymologies. 'oxymoron,' for instance, means sharp-dull in greek.

And staring at the adorable guitarist Bruce was nice too.

It's only Tuesday, so as far as this week goes I can't say much, but it's started off well. I've applied for yet another webdesign job. Classes are going well. Tomorrow I have a test in modern rhetorical theory, a two-page memo due in specialized documents, and a bunch of other work to do. I hope I can keep ahead of things.

Work is work. My job takes way too much commitment for what it pays me.

Tuesday, September 13


The VPR job I did not get.

Today I applied for a new one. Webmaster for the Museum of Anthropology. In the interview she brought up the site and said, what would you do with this?

I made some casual suggestions, framed of course in the voiced expectation that I'd only do what they wanted me to do.

We'll see how that goes. I am, as usual, prepared for more rejection while at the same time confident I have the skills to be a real webmaster. And I do. I'm webmaster for Isotope, aren't I ?

Classes continue swimmingly. I'm busy, but that's good.

Friday, September 9

the longest day ever and it's only half ten

I had to work this morning. yay.

and then I had class. that went well.

then I checked my email and the Vice President for Research wants to meet with me. TODAY!

this is the most shocking and exciting news I could possibly have received this morning.

I'll have to skip class to make the interview but I'm fine with that.

What am I going to wear?

What will I tell my professor? When will I make up the quiz we're supposed to have??

In other news...
Leslie the managing editor for Isotope sent this email around to all the English department faculty:

Isotope: A Journal of Literary Nature and Science Writing announces its newly redesigned and relocated website: Isotope's wonderful intern, Amelia Chesley, spent the summer revamping the site. See the new website to learn more about Isotope, to subscribe or order back issues, to find submission and contest guidelines, and to read samples from the current issue as well as the archives. Find out for yourself why reviewer Laura van den Berg says, "Even if you don't have a special interest in nature and science writing, Isotope still makes for an excellent read."

And then Kelli, professor of Engl. 5400, announced it in class and I was so proud. yay for me.

Wednesday, September 7

public relations

in about two minutes i'm off to my job interview. i'm very nervous and very excited.
wish me luck.